After someone attempted to break into his son’s apartment, a North Dakota father was stunned when his landlord demanded that he cover the resulting damage. He has since disputed the $500 deductible with apartment management, but the disagreement has gone nowhere. “I’m just confused as to how a random break-in attempt can be considered negligent damage on my part. All the doors and windows were locked,” the father wrote.
The father shared his predicament under the username Smokel_Tokel28 on r/Renters, where more than a thousand people voiced their opposition to the landlord’s so-called “break-in fee.” He explained that the lease says nothing about tenants being charged for damage caused by an attempted theft. “The only part I can find for anything about damages is where it says I am responsible for damages done by me or my guests,” he wrote—pointing out that the thief was certainly not a welcome guest.
Smokel_Tokel28 added how he’s lived in the apartment for three years without issue, so there was no ‘beef’ between him and the property manager. One person accused his son of possibly doing the damage, to which the dad replied that his son is 8 years old and wouldn’t have the physical strength to bend the metal frame of a window.
“Don’t get into an argument. Use declarative statements. Keep it formal and concise. Be firm. Do not leave room for argument. Landlords thrive on tenant ignorance and fear,” advised the commenter, emphasizing that emotion and back-and-forth debate can often weaken a tenant’s position rather than strengthen it.
The advice is sound, especially when dealing with housing disputes, lease issues, deposits, repairs, notices, or any situation in which rights and responsibilities may be in question. In legal or quasi-legal matters, clarity matters. A tenant is usually better served by writing plainly, documenting everything, citing relevant facts, and avoiding threats, insults, or unnecessary explanations. A firm statement such as “This notice is improper under the lease terms” or “Please provide written confirmation by this date” leaves far less room for manipulation than a long emotional message.
As the commenter suggested, these situations are often “an exercise of wits and restraint.” Staying calm, formal, and precise can prevent a landlord from shifting the conversation, provoking an emotional response, or exploiting uncertainty. Knowledge, documentation, and composure are often a tenant’s strongest tools.
